Acceptance

Through my journey of running, which has been rough, I’m beginning to understand that I may never be a great runner, or even a good runner. I’m learning that I’ll probably always be average, and that’s ok.

I ran the Hollis Fast 5k on Thursday. It’s dubbed “ The Fastest 5K Race Course In New England” because it’s flat and there are several down hills. Elevation decreases by 224 feet from start to finish and lots of runners do this race to break their records, as it is a certified USA Track and Field course. They have 1600 runners each year.So it was raining on Thursday night, which wasn’t very fun. I had to run to Marshalls right before the race to buy a weather repellent jacket and hat. I tend to run faster in lousy weather but didn’t manage to beat my time. But my pace is around 8:44, which isn’t half bad. And I am really good at running down hills. Some runners worry about falling, but one good thing about me is that I’m strong on my feet. My first race in the rain. At least it was warm! Since writing this blog, I have discovered two main problems with my running style: the first is that I can’t get my breathing down. I either take short breath or long breaths, and I don’t do either one consistently; they are always interspersed in the race. This adds pressure to your muscles because they aren’t getting enough oxygen, so this makes it harder to run. The other problem is that I can’t seem to increase my stamina. You would think that after two half marathons late last year that a 5k would be a breeze, but it isn’t. I still struggled at the end. And I hate seeing those mile markers. They make it difficult to focus on the end, especially the last mile marker. So how is it that the simplest sport can be the most difficult? And why do runners who struggle continue on, no matter what? I mean, there are all sorts of embarrassing things that runners go through. Bathroom issues are huge. Does anyone remember Uta Pippig from the 1996 Boston Marathon? Google it. There’s a host of other issues that runners go through; things that make it personally difficult for me is that it can be really hard to get yourself out there to train. Running can be boring–especially indoors! It’s not something I look forward to. I don’t get the runner’s high either–which is a total let down. And getting your miles in for a marathon is extremely difficult for anyone with a job and family. I also get nervous before a race too. I’m not sure why. I think I need to start running with friends so I have someone to talk to. But it makes my heart feel all funny and it makes for a poor start. But what I find most fascinating is that there seems to be more runners who struggle than those who don’t. When I first started out, I thought I was part of a small percentage of people who hated it. But as I talk to more people about their struggles, I’m discovering that there are just as many of us who hate it than love it. So this may echo some sentiments in my first blog, but I think the reason average runners continue on in their training is because the process has taught them (or reminded them) that they are strong, dedicated, determined, and have lots of other qualities related to that. And every runner I have met has these qualities; because you have to be strong and determined to run, gifted or not. And I’m quite certain that my friends Jenn, Angela, and Jamie, who are very good runners, have their own difficulties. No matter your station, it’s an ongoing struggle to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Maybe a bit more so when you’re not particularly skilled. But runners do that every time they lace up.

Come On Down!

I just stumbled on this picture. I went to LA with my SIL a bunch of years ago and attended a taping of the Price is Right. Good times! We also attended the taping of The Late Show with Greg Kilborn (who is just as much of an asshole in real life as he was in ‘Old School’. True story.)

Interestingly, we tried to get into the series finale taping for the Drew Carey show. That would have been cool, since he ultimately took Bob Barkers’ place.

Summer running.

Mines Falls Trail Series.

I did the first leg of this race last night.

I still hate running.

Sugar is the root of all evil.

Me and a friend posing with Dan Andelman, host of the Phantom Gourmet.

I’m a whoopie pie fanatic. It’s true. Ever since I cut out alcohol from my diet, my head has been screaming

GET ME SOME SUGAR. NOW!!!

And I oblige, buying Lindt Sea Salt Dark Chocolate bars by the dozen at my local wholesale club. But a few years ago, I went to a Phantom Gourmet Food Festival and tried some Wicked Whoopie Pies (http://www.wickedwhoopies.com). Made in my home state of Maine, these are the best damned things you’ll ever have; every single flavor is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. I like the peanut butter, the mint, the maple, the red velvet, the double chocolate… you get the picture.

So one of the things I struggle with as a recreational athlete is food. I like food. A lot. But it’s really hard to eat clean when sugar is so addictive. Some studies have shown that sugar is even more addictive than opiates, including cocaine! Do you see why it’s so hard to resist chocolate and whoopie pies?

So I eat clean as much as I can. I incorporate a plant-based foot into every meal. I eat all the ‘super foods’ too; salmon, broccoli, blueberries, oranges, oats, spinach and kale, nuts, and legumes. But a few times a week, I’ll do something really naughty and eat a giant sweet with about a gazillion calories. I can’t help it!

How does this help with my running? Well, it doesn’t. I’ve definitely got a few extra pounds on me, which isn’t making me faster. And this constant cycle of craving and eating sugar is leaving me feeling not-so-hot during a run. Heck, it’s leaving me feeling not-so-hot even just sitting on the couch. So what is one to do?

It’s time for a do over.

This isn’t for everyone, that is for sure. But what I did is a 3-day detox to eliminate toxins and reset your body. It works by drinking a series of plant-based drinks for 3 days; and the  process helps you flush away all the crap in your system.

This worked for me. It eliminated my craving for sugar. It made me feel more energized, and I felt better during my workouts. I know this is starting to sound like a paid advertisement. I promise you, it’s not. In fact, I didn’t even mention which 3-day detox I did. Right? Don’t want to lose any street cred here.

Today, I feel one thousand percent better. I’m thinking more clearly (that voice I told you about above is silenced.) I run a bit better. And my endless craving for sugar has been eliminated.

I can still have my dark chocolate a few times a week so that I don’t feel deprived. Its just that now, I save the Wicked Whoopie for after a good race. The biggest lesson I learned this year is, just because you’re burning a ton of calories, doesn’t mean you can eat whatever you want. Food is fuel and sugar in your gas tank is no good for the engine.

http://strongisnewskinny.blogspot.com

http://strongisnewskinny.blogspot.com

Why do I run?

Life is a work in progress. Nearly seven years ago, I quit drinking. About 3 years ago, I quit smoking and joined the local YMCA. I often tell people that the YMCA saved my life, and I mean that. It gave me a something for myself and kept me on a path of health and well-being. Anyone who’s ever struggled with something knows how hard THAT can be.

So after joining the Y, I met some of my best friends, and we took a bunch of classes together. This went on for a bit, and then someone decided that we should do 5k obstacle course together, as a team. So we signed up for a local race and had about 8 weeks to prepare.

That’s me!!

Now, I was not a runner at all and never have been. I tried cross country in seventh grade and quit on the first day. Since that time, running was never on my radar, although I secretly envied the runners that I saw. And for some strange reason, I have always envisioned that I could be an okay runner because I like to sprint and have a lean frame. But that didn’t turn out to be the case.

I started training for the 5k, and it was hard. I have all sorts of issues, including weird gait, tense arms, and shin splints. Plus the mental thing is really hard to get your head around (ha!) But the biggest problem of all was, I didn’t like the training. Honestly, who does? It’s hard work. When you’re taking a class, it’s predictable; your body knows what to expect. But when as I continued running, and began seeing all of the different challenges, I seriously considered quitting. Just giving my bib to someone else. I could think of a million other things I’d rather be doing.  Plus I couldn’t keep up with the better runners in the team, which was a downer for me.

Quitting isn’t really an option, though, because unless your sick or there’s an emergency, you have to do it. So I did it partly so that I wouldn’t feel like an ass for bailing, partly because I never give up, and partly because my friends were cajoling me. I ran that race, I put up some respectable numbers (I wasn’t the best but I wasn’t the worst!), and I felt an immense amount of pride that I had finished something.

Awesome! I can cross that off my list. I’ll never have to do another race ever again.

But, a funny thing happened in the weeks following the race. After thinking about it time and again, I began to wonder ‘what if‘. What if I had trained smarter; could I have made better time? What if I pushed myself; could I run farther? Maybe if I tried it one more time…maybe I would I discover that I liked it?

So I kept on running. Not a lot, just a few times a week. I signed up for a few other small races and kept shaving time off, little by little. But I still hated running. Something was making me go, though. I couldn’t figure out what it was or why. In the meantime, while I was still trying to get this sorted out, I registered for and ran a half-marathon. I finished it, without stopping, in just under 2:20. Now, most people would be happy with those times, and I certainly was. But while I was in the race, I was miserable. It was the worst two hours of my life! Why do we put our bodies through this? And back to the original question: WHY AM I DOING THIS?

My first half marathon. I’m smiling. That’s because this picture was taken before the race.

Running means different things to different people. For some, it’s the racing and winning; for others, it’s staying in shape. Everyone has their own reasons. And although I still don’t fully understand all the reasons why run, I think what I can say is this: For me, running is something that I once convinced was impossible. But I have proven to myself that I was wrong. It is the most empowering feeling to realize what your gut is telling you is impossible can be done. And once you realize that you what you were convinced was impossible, you start to wonder was else you can do.

I read a blog called No Meat Athlete, written by Matt Frazier, and he describes a very similar experience. In it, he says that once those horizons expand, “you have a reason to get out of bed  because now there’s more stuff available for you do do with your life.”

And so this is how I’ve come to terms running. It’s opened my eyes to consider the possibility of things that I once thought were impossible. I’m looking through life with a new lens. There’s more ‘stuff’ for me to do with my life. Which is why I recently registered for a full marathon this September.

Wish me luck!

It’s Mother’s Day

And I’m filled with mixed emotions. Because what I’ll do for Mother’s Day is see my extended family and spend the day with my kids, who are 6 and 8. But you know, I don’t really want to do those things. I kind of want to leave.

Before you judge, let me explain.

First and foremost, I’m here every day for my kids. I get them up, get them off to school, volunteer at their school, and then pick them up from school, feed them, get them to bed. All the things parents do, right? Right. I also work from home full time, so it’s great that I can be there for them. And I love it–I wouldn’t change a thing. But guess what?

I almost never leave home.

So this Mother’s Day, I would like to go away for the day. I know I’m not alone; my friend Lacey wants to go away for the day too. And there must be more Moms that wanna get away too; come on now.

You’re thinking “They are so cute! Why would she want to leave them for the day?” As my wise friend Lacey said, 
“Every day is Mother’s Day, honey.”

If I had a day to myself, I might be able to form some cohesive thoughts without  interruption. And it would be nice to read a newspaper or magazine (I can’t even mention books, there’s no way I’d finish one of THOSE, unless I was building it.) I would eat wherever I wanted, I would sip coffee and the park and people watch, I would go for a run, and I would go see some friends to fill my adult-interaction void. I would get a little piece of myself back.

But I can’t. The truth is, I would miss my kids. And, I really do want to see my Mom and the rest of my family. So here’s the deal: I’ll stick around, as long as you don’t buy me a crappy card. And next year, I’m taking two days for Mother’s day. Saturday will be for me, and Sunday will be for my family.